


In the arms of darkness

by LostinParadise911



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Drug Abuse, F/F, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-27 00:03:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/971864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostinParadise911/pseuds/LostinParadise911
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of Alex's drug abuse after Piper left and her Mum died and how Piper and Alex find their way back to each other. AU. No prison. Dark and adult themes will be present throughout.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I've jumped on to the OITNB band wagon so decided to try my hand at writing a fanfiction. I'm not normally one for writing multi chapters.. Or anything other that smut so this is new territory for me. Any thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated!

It was dark. It was always dark. And it hurt. The pain never went away. She was alone. She had lost the only things that had ever mattered to her, to her heart. She had lost them to something she swore would never take over her life. But she had already lost the battle so what difference would one more time make. At least it made the all-encompassing hatred and pain disappear, even if only for a little while. The sharp tip felt familiar now against her skin, the marks on her above the blood vessels simply part of her. She hadn’t ventured beyond the walls that surrounded her in a long time. There was no one to care, no one to see what she was doing to herself. The cold metal pierced her skin and slid smoothly into a vein, she watched with masochistic observance as she pushed the plunger and watched the contents filter past her skin surface and into her blood stream. The warmth settled over her body, the pain infiltrating her every sense started to retreat somewhere into the back of her mind – temporarily forgotten. Her head lulled and her limbs got heavier. The darkness slowly encroached on her now clouded mind, she couldn’t feel her limbs anymore, everything was too heavy, too difficult to control but it didn’t matter because the pain was less. That was all that mattered. All that had mattered since her Mum had died and her love had left her. There was nothing left in this world for her. Nothing that her money could buy her. Nothing that could replace the feeling of loss that had taken over her heart and mind. She needed her. The only person that could have gotten her through this had left her. Alone. She was all alone. Not a single soul in the world there to break her fall. She was freefalling, fast, too fast. She was going to crash and burn. Soon. No, no no. Her head shook in a slowly, distorted motion. She couldn’t think about her. It would end her. The darkness overtook and she felt no more as she slipped into unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 1

The room was spinning; her stomach lurching like it was aboard a ship stuck in the centre of a storm. She tried to move but she didn’t have the energy, her limbs were still so heavy. Instead she fell sideways and emptied her stomach contents (which weren’t substantial) onto the floor at the side of her. She tried to roll away from it onto her back but hit her head against the wall. Groaning, she hoisted her body upwards with great effort and slumped backwards, using the wall for support. Everything hurt. She welcomed the physical pain wracking her body. Anything was better than the emotional trauma she was suffering. Hence why she had woken up, exactly like this every day for the past week. She’d tried to keep her head above water; she tried to cope, tried to process and deal with the emotional turmoil that had erupted over her seemingly perfect life. But she couldn’t do it. She was drowning. Rapidly. But the drugs had always been there, they’d never left her side. They were her constant, and they had offered a life jacket to pull her above the water that was drowning her. They had offered a hand when life had shoved her down and she took it. She latched on with everything she had - which wasn’t much. She was just a shell of a person these days. Existing but not living. Surviving, that was probably the right word for what she was doing, surviving the whirlwind of catastrophe that had blown through her life and left everything derelict and broken. She wasn’t a person anymore. Just a being. A worthless being. Slowly she staggered her way to her feet, clutching the wall like a life line as the rooms spinning increased in tempo. She stumbled forward crashing into a table and knocking a lamp from its perch, she watched it fall to the ground as though it occurred in slow motion. She heard the crash but the sound seemed distant, like it wasn’t her lamp that had just shattered against the floor in front of her. She stared at it with a confused glaze in her eyes before turning and continuing her path. 

The water was so hot in stung as it struck her bare flesh. This pain was also welcomed. A physical representation of how bare she felt. She had been stripped of everything she loved and presented bare to the world to be punished for all her misdeeds – that was how it seemed anyway. The water and steam helped to chase away some of the remaining fog from her mind. With clarity and clear mindedness came reality. With reality came the memories. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alex slid into the shower and slipped her arms around Piper’s waist. She pressed herself against Piper’s back, and moaned as she pulled Piper’s ass into her crotch. Pressing a wet kiss against Piper’s shoulder she slid her hands up to cup her breasts, gently squeezing and massaging them until she felt Piper’s nipples stiffen under her ministrations. Piper’s head fell back and rested against her shoulder, Piper brought her hand up, gently tracing the curvature of Alex’s jaw before cupping her cheek and drawing Alex’s lips into her own for a deep and passionate meeting of tongues. Piper slipped her hand around to cradle the back of Alex’s head and neck holding her in place so she couldn’t pull away from the kiss. Alex had temporarily forgotten to keep moving her hands, as she became completely entranced in everything that was Piper Chapman. Piper used her other hand to cover Alex’s and began squeezing her own breast, Alex took the hint and started her own motions again rolling Piper’s nipples between her thumb and forefinger. She continued to worship Piper’s breasts until Piper had to pull away from their kiss, to drop her head back onto Alex’s shoulder, releasing small moans of pleasure against the shell of Alex’s ear. Alex felt heat flood to her centre as Piper’s lips gently caressed her ear and she began to grind her hips forward into Piper’s ass. 

“I want your fingers in me Alex, baby. I want you to fuck me so good.” Piper whispered into Alex’s hair, finishing the sentence by sucking Alex’s earlobe into her hot mouth.

It was Alex’s turn to moan as she slid her right hand down Piper’s body to find the wet heat that awaited her at Piper’s core. Slowly Alex slid just one finger between Piper’s folds, dipping the tip of her finger into Piper’s tight opening before pulling it out and sliding it up towards her clit. Alex’s finger found Piper’s hardened nub and began a slow circle around it, not quite touching it. Piper’s moans got breathier as she begged Alex to give her what she needed. Alex finally succumbed to her pleas and buried two fingers deep into Piper’s pussy. 

“Oh fuck Alex.” Piper moaned out as Alex began a steady rhythm of pumping her digits into Piper, making sure to curl her fingers on every other thrust. It didn’t take longer for Piper’s hips to begin thrusting against her with wild abandon as her moans got louder and more frequent. Piper could feel the coil winding tighter and tighter in the pit of her stomach, warmth building up ready to explode across her body when all of a sudden Alex stopped thrusting and removed herself completely from Piper’s body. 

“What the fu...” Piper started but before she knew it Alex had spun her around, pinned her against the wall and sunk to her knees in front of her. 

“Oh baby,” Piper moaned out as Alex lifted her thigh and placed it over her shoulder opening her centre up for Alex’s tongue to glide through her folds. Piper’s head fell back against the shower wall and her chest started heaving as her breathing became erratic. Alex sucked Piper’s clit into her mouth and simultaneously sunk two digits back into Piper’s wet heat. Alex instantly felt Piper’s pussy clenching around her fingers, pulling them in deeper. 

“Faster, “ Piper moaned out, followed by a string of profanity as she slid her hands into Alex’s hair grabbing fistfuls and holding her head in place to prevent Alex torturing her further - Piper wanted to cum, and she wanted to cum now. Deeper, faster thrusts and Alex’s amazing tongue stroking her clit in all the right ways caused light explosions behind Piper’s eyes and she screamed out Alex’s name as she came while her knees buckled beneath her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The tears came in torrents, pouring down her cheeks and mixing with the water still crashing down on her body. The ability to stand departed her body and she collapsed to the floor and curled up in a ball and let the emotion take over her body. Her body convulsed as sobs overtook and her strangled cries filled the space around her. She craved for anything that could take the pain away. One of those things wasn’t ever coming back to her; the second option thus becomes her only option to ease her pain. The craving for a fix reared its ugly head and roared like an angered tiger in her head. She needed to sate the animal and make the pain go away. The intellectual part of her knew that this was wrong, that she was screwing up her mind and her body by doing this but she couldn’t face the pain and the memories. The emotional currents were crushing her and her drug was the only thing that gave her the strength to cope, to survive. Her hands started to shake as she fought the battle between her mind and her heart. Was she in too deep? Could she go back?


	3. Chapter 2

It was dark. Again. Were her eyes open? She slowly drifted into consciousness and realised she was blue and shaking. She’d passed out in the hallway somewhere between the shower and wherever the hell she was going to end up. Groaning from the mental and physical exhaustion that encompassed her being she pulled herself up and dragged herself into her bedroom to find some form of clothing to wrap around her quaking body. How did things get like this? From a globe-trotting badass to a dribbling mess on her own floor in her old run down town in the States. She’d never been in such a dark and twisted place. Despite the shit she had to go through as a kid, from bullies to absent parents that had just been life. Shit happened. That was the hand she was dealt and she adapted to work with it. Now it was like the rug had been pulled out from under her. An earthquake had suddenly torn apart the foundations of her life and she was left surrounded by the ruins. She didn’t know how to cope with the sudden change, how to cope with such loss to her life. Absentmindedly, she scratched her arm while her mind tried to formulate answers as to how this had happened to her life. A drug addicted mess that barely made it up from the floor of her apartment. A pitiful laugh fell from her mouth at just how pathetic she’d become. All the impressions she’d been under that she was a self-serving, independent woman had been blown to smithereens, she lost two people she cared about deeply and now she couldn’t get through the day without a drug induced blackout. 

Still scratching her arm, she felt moisture against her fingertips. Confused she looked down to see her arm stained with lines of red. Fuck. The healing needle tracks were now fully exposed, their protest at the exposure tracked in blood down her arm. God she was a mess. She didn’t have the mental capability to deal with her mess right now though. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever have the mental ability to pick herself up from this. Not alone. The one person who could fix her was god knows where. The only thing she was certain of was that her person wouldn’t be coming back to her. She wasn’t hers any longer. The tears started pooling in her eyes again, and several spilled down her face. She hadn’t looked in a mirror for days, she didn’t need to see the evidence of her drug binges in her blood shot eyes or the evidence of the tear tracks that had not left her face since landing on American soil. How does one process death? Loss? Heartbreak? How does one process been forced to look in the mirror and see themselves, the real them, for the first time in a long time? No mask to hide behind, no one to pass the blame on to, to claim it isn’t your fault, no running from the pain to a different corner of the world or burying it down and forgetting it exists. She had to look in the mirror and say “It’s my fault. I fucked up. Big time.” She wanted to kick, and cry and scream and put the blame on someone else, but there was no one else to blame. She neglected her lover, she was the reason that she’d been left alone in a hotel room in Paris with no one to turn to. She was the reason she hadn’t been home to see her Mum in a long time, too long, not the drug lords that kept her in line with business. She had the money she could have flown home to see her Mum more often, but she didn’t. 

She felt the rage building up inside herself. For not seeing things sooner, for not predicting this would happen and fixing it before everything had spiralled this far out of control. She was always in control. Always. Before she was fully conscious of her actions her fist flew forward, towards the nearest wall. The dry wall cracked under the force of the blow, and she felt the debris behind it slice through the skin on her hand. Breathing hard, she crumpled against the wall feeling the coolness against her flushed skin. Pain spread through her hand and into her wrist. Slowly she turned her head to look at the point where her hand disappeared behind the wall before unclenching her still tight fist and slowly drawing her arm back to reveal her bloodied, bruised and swollen hand. 

“Shit.” 

Her shoulders dropped. Defeat hit like an overwhelming tidal wave sweeping through her body. At least now she had a physical representation of all the pain that swirled through her body lately. Something she could focus on that didn’t require any emotional processing. That thought relieved her slightly as she rummaged through her freezer hoping that by some higher deity she happened to have frozen peas or ice. Eventually, a bag of frozen peas were located and she dropped into a chair at the kitchen table placing the ice on her hand before dropping her head into her arms. She needed to work but like it had for the past week she decided it could wait a little longer. Her phone remained un-charged and completely devoid of life somewhere around her office desk. Right now she didn’t care if the big bad men in charge sent someone to kill her for the drugs still in her possession. It was the least of her concerns. 

She fell asleep like that and awoke some time later to find her hand completely numb and freezing cold in a pool of water from the now defrosted peas. When did she start sleeping so much? She was constantly tired and devoid of energy. It wasn’t like she had anything better to do with her day anyway. At least sleep meant she could escape from the reality of her life. It was a welcome recess into the deepest corners of her mind where nothing could bother her. She had never been one for nightmares. Sleeping was her welcomed solitude from the waking nightmare of day to day life. Her own stress free zone away from the hustle and bustle of life. With nothing to do she returned the peas to the freezer and lumbered herself to the couch. Dropping herself down and sprawling her body across the cushions, she reached for the remote before flipping on the TV. She’d never been one for TV, much preferring her books but right now her mind couldn’t focus enough to read a sentence never mind a full novel. But she still needed something to occupy her mind before she consumed herself with more thoughts of misery. She needed to start attempting to swim, to keep herself above the pain. So mindlessly she stared at the TV screen and watched the images change. There was a reason she didn’t like television, and she focussed on elaborating on that point and vowing to never watch it again to keep her mind occupied. 

A glint of light caught her attention. She scanned the room quickly to find out the source that had distracted her from her musings. The needle from last night. It lay haphazardly on the floor from where she had collapsed in a pile against the wall. Swallowing hard, she diverted her attention back to the TV. Her mouth suddenly dry, her hands began to shake. Quickly she shoved them under her legs to prevent the movement. Breathe she told herself. Closing her eyes she tried desperately to centre herself, to distract herself, to find some semblance of will power and control to resist the sweet temptation. But it called to her, like a beautiful song it beckoned her to dance with it. To get lost in the world that only it could provide. And it was oh so tempting. She opened her eyes and glared at the offending needle, like that would somehow make it go away. Her mouth was dry, and she began to get a little dizzy at the all-consuming need that was rampaging across her brain. A war was raging between her common sense, and the reward pathways in her brain that urged her to give in to the temptation and get the relief only it could provide. It was like an angel and a devil sitting on her shoulders, whispering in her ear. The devil taunted her and challenged her, daring her to have another taste of the metaphorical poisoned apple. What the hell, she’d already been expelled from paradise. What was one more romp in the bushes? With that she pushed herself from the sofa to the draw that held her white angel, her guardian, her comfort.


	4. Chapter 3

Rain battered against the windows as she awoke; it felt like the rain drops were pounding against her head as the throbbing beat like a bass drum throughout her skull. Groaning Alex rolled to see where she had landed this time, and it was then she became aware of just how cold the surface against her back was. She found she had fallen asleep on the cold tiles of her kitchen floor in front of the fridge which was wide open. Assumedly she had been hunting for a beer in her drug induced high, anything to prolong the feelings of euphoria for just a little longer before she had to come crashing down to her reality of pain. She would take the pounding of her head and the aching of her muscles against the ache in her heart though. She wasn’t ready to face that pain just yet. She didn’t know if she’d ever be ready to face that pain. 

Using the kitchen side she dragged herself to her feet, hanging her head over the cold sink as her stomach rolled from the movement, blindly swiping at the side to find a glass to drink from. She slid her glasses, which she had apparently passed out in; on to the top of her head to hold her hair out of her face as she wretched violently. She laughed mockingly at herself. She used to move the glasses into her hair because she knew exactly what reaction it would instil; fear, lust whatever it was it made her feel powerful and confident and sexy. Now she was just a fucking junkie hanging over her kitchen sink having not seen daylight for the past week at least. She may still have hundreds of thousands of dollars in her bank account but who needs money when the two most important things in your life have up and abandoned you at the drop of a fucking hat. She knew realistically that it wasn’t a fair comparison, her Ma hadn’t abandoned her but that was what it felt like. Her heart had been ripped out of her chest, cut into a million pieces, spat on and trampled into the ground. She had nothing left. Nothing that was worth shit anyway. Maybe she could buy a luxurious condo on a beach in Spain, a country with no extradition, and have nothing in her life to worry about. But what good was that when she’d sit alone moping and hating herself and everyone else in the world like a kicked puppy licking its wounds? 

Sighing deeply she slumped into a chair at the kitchen table, her head heavily hanging into her hands. What the fuck had happened to her? She used to be so badass, cool, confident, sexy, and desired. Now she couldn’t even get her shit together. What happened to that the need for control? That had gone out the window the moment all control was ripped from her hands and she had no idea and no intention to get it back. That was a fight for another day when she could bear to look at herself in the mirror again. Getting her shit together would mean dealing with all the problems she wasn’t ready to face. Right now all she wanted was to slum around, get high and wasted, and forget that the world fucking existed outside the walls of her Ma’s old house. Well her house now. She laughed bitterly once again. Just one more thing to add to her fortune of things she didn’t deserve.

She had never hated herself more that she did right now. This was the lowest point of her life and yet she couldn’t find any drive to do a damn thing about it. Discarded needles, dirty clothes and dirty dishes demonstrated exactly how she felt about herself right now. She had lost all respect for herself so how could she expect anyone else to have any? She spied her phone laid on the desk in her living room through the open doorway from the kitchen. Fuck, she swore mentally. She couldn’t remember the last time she charged it; she probably had 50 missed calls from an array of people within the cartel. Ironic how she had lost Piper because she was never off that damn fucking phone and now Piper was gone she barely touched the damn thing. 

Plugging her phone in to charge Alex stumbled her way into the shower to wash away the dusty cobwebs from her mind discarding her clothes along the way. Not that she had any plans for the day apart from lounging around the house until the urge for another hit became too much for her to stand. When did she get this bad? It was like she could feel the addiction clawing at her brain like the monster from the closet that haunts your dreams as a child. Except this wasn’t a dream, this was a real life fucking monster in her head. And that monster was herself. 

The water helped to wash away some of the negativity that seemed to be all encompassing of her being. That was until a loud banging sounded through her apartment. Swearing and muttering about who the fuck could possibly be at her door, she stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around herself and placed her glasses on her face. She stomped to the door ready to give whoever was on the other side a piece of her mind. Without checking the peep hole she threw the door wide open and opened her mouth to start shouting when she noticed it was Fahri and two of his bigger guys at her door. 

“Get dressed,” Fahri demanded stepping over the threshold without waiting for an invite into her home. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck and double fuck, she thought to herself. She couldn’t clean up the evidence of all the drugs she had been using rather than getting ready for import. She was so dead. Her mind raced a million miles a minute trying to think of ways she could bullshit herself out of this situation. In her bedroom she closed the door and fell down against it feeling completely exhausted. Lifting her glasses she rubbed her eyes before slowly picking herself up and finding some clothes to dress in: a rolling stones tee, grey skinny jeans and black high top chucks. Her classic look. She paused to put on eye liner just to buy herself a few more minutes, hoping the familiar routine would relax her slightly but her hands couldn’t stop shaking as she applied the liquid gel to her eyelids. 

Staring in the mirror she took in her pale and gaunt appearance noting that her clothes looked a little baggier on her than usual. She looked like crap. But she had a turning feeling in her gut that she was about to look a lot worse. That was if they didn’t kill her. She thought about running but the only exit from the house was the front door which you could see from the living room where she was sure Fahri would be waiting. There was no way out of it. She had to face the music. Did she actually want to run? She was nothing, and her life was pain. What sort of life was that?

Fahri wouldn’t just leave, he would come and find her and nothing good would come of pissing him off further. She leaned her forehead against the cool mirror, taking in the feeling as it spread across her body and caused goosebumps to rise. This might be the last time she felt anything. She wanted to soak up everything about it. Did she care if Fahri killed her? Yes and no. She wished for nothing more than to be able to say a proper goodbye to Piper and tell her how sorry she was and how much she loved her but Piper had left and now she was nothing, nobody, she wouldn’t be missed if she was gone. 

She sighed; she’d wasted the last 10 minutes in her room. It was time to face her boss. Making her way to the living room she saw Fahri sitting on her sofa, waiting impatiently for her as he took in the heroin bags that lay scattered around the room and the used needles littered across the floor. The two men that flanked him stood intimidatingly in the centre of the room giving her an icy glare. 

She cleared her throat nervously; “would anyone like a drink? Coffee? Beer?” Trying to discreetly wipe her sweating palms down the side of her jeans to not let Fahri see just how nervous she was. As her hands began to subtly shake all she could think about was how much she needed a fix. 

“No. This is strictly business.” Fahri stated in a very cold, detached tone. She sighed and slumped onto the couch. This was going to be bad. Very bad. Fahri sat in silence, simply staring at her, watching her squirm on the sofa under his merciless glare. She was sure tumbleweed could be heard rolling through the ghost town that used to be her sanctuary. 

“WHAT THE FUCK VAUSE?” Fahri suddenly exploded. She flinched, wishing with every fibre in her being that the couch would swallow her whole. “You don’t get in touch with anyone. You don’t do any of the drops you were designated to organise. You lose the organisation fucking millions and I come around to find that you’ve been sticking all this shit in yourself. You’re a fucking waste of space.” Fahri spat at her.  


“Look, I’m really sorry,” Alex began running her hands through her still wet raven locks. “It’s just been a really rough time and I can earn the money back,” despite the situation her pride would not let her beg to be forgiven. 

“Save your fucking bullshit Vause. I don’t give a god damn fuck. Shit happens and you have to deal with it and move on. But now I have the bosses threatening my head because of your giant fuck up. You knew the risks when you agreed to work with us of what happens when people fuck up. And you’ve fucked up real bad Alex. You were one of the best at what you did but you’re acting like nothing more than a fucking mule and we can’t have such a risk associated with our organisation, you know that.” Fahri ranted. He did actually really like the girl before him but it was either his head or hers so the decision was made.  


“Seriously I can fix this,” she started but Fahri had already risen from the sofa and was giving her a dismissive wave of his hand. With a nod to the men still in her living room Fahri walked out of the door  
  
Within seconds the men were on top of Alex, hauling her off the couch before the hits started raining down on her body. She felt ribs crack and blood poured down her face from her lip and her nose. Her head started ringing and she could barely comprehend anything but the pain. Something snapped, she couldn’t localise the pain, there was just too much. Was it her ribs? Her leg? Her arm? She couldn’t hold herself up any longer. She fell to the ground with a heavy thud, curling into the foetal position to protect whatever she could but the blows kept on coming. She felt a foot kick her onto her back before a heavy knee landed on her chest, crushing her. Her lungs seared as she tried to draw air into her lungs through the weight on her chest and the broken ribs. It felt like she was breathing in water and she was drowning. So this is what drowning actually feels like, Everything was a blur as pain took hold of her entire body and her mind faded to black with the punishing blows still being dealt to her broken body. She was left limp on the floor. Is this death?


	5. Chapter 4

“Hello, Ms Chapman?” 

“Yes, speaking.”

“I’m calling on behalf of Ms. Vause.” 

“I don’t want to fucking speak to her,” Piper seethed down the phone. 

“She’s been in an accident. My name is Nurse Taylor I’m calling from Morristown Medical Centre; she’s currently in a critical condition on life support. You’re her emergency contact.” 

“Oh god..,” Piper went silent her mind was reeling a dime a dozen. Alex was in an accident? She nearly died? “I’ll be there.” She whispered into the handset before dropping it, and herself, to the ground as she began to cry. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alex slowly began to drift back into consciousness. What the fuck was up her nose? Why couldn’t she move her arm? Fuck, she thought as blackness tried to engulf her mind again. She wanted to stay awake, she wanted to know where she was and what the hell had happened to her but the darkness was slowly pulling her back into its depths. Just as she began to fade she heard screaming. 

“Let me fucking in there. I’m her emergency contact for Christ sake, it doesn’t matter if I’m family or not she obviously wants me fucking in there.” The voice in the hall screamed, it sounded familiar… 

“Piper?” Alex only managed to whisper the name before the darkness consumed her again. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Piper couldn’t remember how long she’d been sat here. She couldn’t remember sleeping, or eating, or using the bathroom; everything felt like a daze as she stared into the face of her ex-lover. Her face was black and blue bruises covering the majority of it, her cheeks were sunken and her lips chapped, and the rapid weight loss since Piper had last seen her made Alex look like a fragile little doll that would break at any moment. Then there were all the machines, the damn infernal beeping and the IV in her arm and the oxygen tubes up her nose and the casts around her broken bones and the extensive bruising that covered most of her body. 

Piper began sobbing again. She might have left Alex in Paris at the worst time in her life but she didn’t leave because she stopped loving her. Quite the opposite actually, Alex was her home, her safety, her love, her everything but she couldn’t continue to be second best to the drugs. Piper had spent her time back at Polly’s in New York doing nothing but nurse her aching heart that longed to be in Alex’s arms again and think about how much she loved the woman that lie in front of her now. 

Piper didn’t think she had ever seen Alex look this broken, from the day she met her she was a dark knight that oozed confidence and sex appeal and under all of that was the sweet Alex Vause who she had fallen head over heels in love with. She had treated Piper like she was the only woman in the world; she worshipped her, even when she had 10 women a night throwing themselves at her feet. Piper had never felt so loved, that was until the work began to take over and that was when their little life of luxury in a shiny bubble of love deteriorated. But she never stopped loving Alex Vause. It ripped her heart it two to see her strong and courageous woman so broken in the bed in front of her now. 

Piper continued to sob, she reached for Alex’s hand while whispering; “I love you, come back to me Alex.” 

“I’m here.”

Piper gasped and jerked backwards, did she hear that or was her imagination playing tricks on her?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alex had slowly come back around to the sound of sobbing and a shaking hand gripping hers. Despite the pain and the weight pressing down on her she knew that sob anywhere. Years of spending every single day with a person did that to you; every little sound and behaviour was instantly recognisable and so familiar.

“I love you, come back to me Alex.” Did she hear that right? Was this a dream? Was she high? She didn’t care, she was going to make the most of it while it was here, and she felt euphoric just at the thought that Piper was here and still loved her. 

“I’m here.” Her throat felt as parched as the Saharan desert and it took all of her strength to try and muster those two little words that left her mouth as a quite murmur but she felt the hand in hers jerk and she knew that Piper had heard her.

“Alex? Oh my god. Alex are you awake? Come on baby please, please wake up,” Piper started crying harder as she still couldn’t tell if she was imagining this whole thing through pure desperation. It had been 4 or 5 days now that she had been in the hospital and she had yet to see Alex’s gorgeous, piercing grey eyes once. 

Alex tried curling her fingers to grasp onto Piper’s hand but pain instantly shot up her arm. Alex’s eyes fluttered open, they felt heavy but she needed to see if Piper was real or if this was all a dream. Everything was blurry at first, a white wash mixed in with cold steely grey’s but as her eyes began to focus she noticed a head of blonde hair and a face staring at her intently. God it felt like forever since she had seen those baby blue eyes. She tried to smile but her cheeks felt numb and wouldn’t move, all she managed was a little twitch of the corner of her lips. But that was enough for Piper as her tears turned into happy ones; she gently leaned forward to press her lips against Alex’s. 

God it had been so long since she felt those lips, it finally felt like the hole in her chest was beginning to close. Alex thought she had died and gone to heaven, she never expected to experience this again in her life. She could barely move her own lips but just the feel of Piper’s against her own was more than enough. She barely noticed the pain in her body as it felt like the entire world dropped away in that moment. 

“I love you, Alex Vause,” Piper whispered against her lips before she pulled away. Alex’s lips tugged at the corners again as she felt like her heart would beat of her chest, which the rapidly increasing beeping of the monitor next to her demonstrated to Piper. Alex might not have been able to tell her how she felt but the beeping was sure giving her a good idea which caused a wide smile to spread across Piper’s face as the nurses came rushing into the room to see what the commotion caused was about. The emotions swirled around Alex’s head, suddenly exhausted she drifted off back into a deep slumber.


End file.
